28 and Freaking Out.

As a gal in the midst of her 28th year, I’m realizing I’m looking down the barrel at the ol’ 3-0. I know, I know, I know, “20 is the new 30″, which is a trendy and convenient thing to say when you’re in my position, but no matter– I’m kinda starting to freak out.

And apparently it’s…perfectly normal?

I don’t want to get mystical on you guys, but I’m going to get mystical on you guys. Hear me out.

Have you ever heard of Saturn’s Return? According to the astrological world, it takes Saturn 29 years to return to the same place it was at your birth. It’s during this phase of Saturn’s Return that we go through a period of testing, questioning, shifting and evolving that ultimately ends with the dust settling and you emerging with a new perspective, goals and course in life. It’s supposedly this first Saturn Return that is the most difficult because it coincides with the firm end of childhood and entry into adulthood.

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Whether you’re into astrology or not, I think that there is something to be said about this bridge between your 20′s and 30′s and how you navigate that.

I turned 28 several months ago and since then my life has felt a bit unsettled and has thrown some pretty serious ups and downs my way. Coupled with the fact that my body just doesn’t seem as young as it used to in some ways (hangovers!? aches and pains!?!? WTF!?!), I’m pretty darn sure that I’m in the throes of my Saturn’s Return! I’m never too shy about letting you in on what’s going on in my life, so I thought I’d share that things are seemingly a little wonky over in my neck of the woods right now.

I found this great Saturn Return Survival Guide over on Galadarling.com that I thought I’d share with you. While these lessons and learnings seem to be particularly pertinent to me right now, I think we can all appreciate the wisdom they hold.

Never compare yourself to anyone else.

No matter what stage you’re at right now, that is the exact place you should be. We all move, grow & mature at different times, but that doesn’t make any of us better or worse than one another. Someone may have their career all figured out but their relationships are a mess, while you might have your spirituality on lock but haven’t learned to save any money yet. It’s okay. You’ll get there. Take it one day at a time.

Take responsibility for your thoughts & actions.

I say this over & over & over, but now is REALLY the time to put it into action! You will never be in control of your life or your emotions until you start to own up to everything you think & everything you do.

Choose your place in the world carefully.

If where you are at — either mentally, emotionally, spiritually or physically — is not working for you, & if you know deep down in your gut that it is wrong, then change it. The only person with the power to change your life is YOU.

Start journalling, if you’re not already.

My Saturn return started on Saturday (!!!) & I have literally been waking up in the middle of the night with profound thoughts & realisations about my own patterns & psychology. Take notes of all of these things! It is one of the best ways to work through them.

Look at your issues around men.

This is relevant for women particularly. Saturn represents the father, & it is extremely common for our “daddy issues” to rear their heads during our Saturn return. Examine the kinds of men you attract into your life & your relationships to them.

Start to schedule your time.

The return of Saturn is telling you — in no uncertain terms — that it’s time to grow up. The days of being late, disorganised or forgetful are over! I started using Google Calendar last year & it has changed my life, no joke! Be sure to schedule in things you want to do, too, like a yoga class or a workshop. It’ll make it even more likely to actually happen!

Recognise that your life is your own, & no one can tell you who or what to be or do.

If your lover is controlling, tell him or her to back off! If your family is pressuring you to follow a certain path, explain to them that you are going to follow your passions & dreams no matter what! Start to create boundaries around your life. Otherwise, people will bulldoze right over you.

Get on top of the little things.

Pay your bills on time, set up automatic payments to go into a savings account, go to the doctor & the dentist, go through all your mail & make sure you are 100% on top of it. I know this might seem like an overwhelming task, but it’s not! Just break it down into little pieces & tick them off, day by day.

Start saying no.

I would bet $100 that you have more on your plate than is necessary. I would bet another $500 that these things are causing you stress, anxiety & the occasional pimple! Review the things you do, & start crossing some of them out of your life permanently. Your time & energy are valuable. Better to do a few things well, than a hundred things sub-par…

Process Saturn’s lessons

… because if you don’t, you’ll be doomed to repeat them further down the line. Take time for yourself. Meditate on the changes & give yourself the space you need to work through them.

Learn to view change as a positive thing.

During your Saturn return, you might get divorced, lose your job, or realise your friends weren’t ever really there for you at all. All of these things HURT, but they only hurt as much as you allow them to. Recognise that getting divorced creates space in your life for someone who truly loves you. Losing your job frees you to follow your passions & do something meaningful. Discovering the truth about your faux-friends will allow real, true, deep friendships to emerge.

Let go of your grudges & bitterness.

A lot happens in the lead-up to 29. We are not the same as we were when we were 17 or 23 (thankfully!), & maybe we are a little less enthusiastic, or a little more cautious these days. Don’t be. Learn from your mistakes, learn from the people around you, but still strive onward with positivity. Don’t allow your past disappointments to shape your future.

Take chances, & work hard.

Saturn rewards hard-workers & risk-takers. This is not the time to play it safe or play small. Take action & recognise that your inclinations towards procrastination or idle time-wasting are over!

Have you experienced Saturn’s Return or this life shift before? I would love to hear your reflections and learnings about the journey! Or maybe you’re in my boat— are you freaking too!?!?

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3 Comments

  1. I enjoyed this article, Cassidy! Thanks for sharing. :)

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  3. I’m pretty much in this boat with you, but with a twist. I’m coming to the end of my 29th year next month! There does tend to be an onset of panic around hitting 30, and I say “hitting” 30 because I’ve been viewing it as if 30 is a brick wall that I’m heading toward at full speed with no breaks. BUT, with a recent end to a lengthy toxic relationship, I exited with a kind of relief that I can only attribute to my approaching 30th year. Instead of viewing this phase as scary, and putting myself down for not having achieved all that I “think” I should have achieved by the time 30 rolled around, I’m viewing this phase as just the way you put it: as the time to finally begin to put myself in the forefront, to dream again and follow them, and to not apologize for who I am now, because it is only a stepping stone for who I will become.

    Thanks so much for this piece. Learning about the role of Saturn puts so much into perspective!! Now it all makes sense, lol.

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